The facts about a Receiving Line
If
the bride and groom have invited guests to share their special day,
the gracious couple, and host, should greet and talk with
each guest personally, even if they talk for only a brief moment.
Because talking with each guest may be impossible due
to time constraints, the bride and groom can organize a receiving
line. Having a receiving line, though not as popular today
as it was in the past, is still considered proper wedding etiquette.
With that in
mind, the couple has to decide whether or not to have a
receiving line. If a divorced father is paying for the reception and
the mother wants a receiving line, she can arrange it at
the ceremony site. However, a receiving line at the ceremony
site is possible only if there’s enough time and the site’s
regulations allow it. Often, the
bride and groom mistakenly think that not having a receiving
line is easier than having one. However, you should remind
them that trying to visit all guests during the reception can
be very difficult. Even if they do get to speak with all the
guests, they may not, for example, have time to eat or to truly
enjoy themselves. Thus, the
receiving line can be eliminated if the couple believes they
can mingle with all guests.
If it’s eliminated, however, the couple and the bride’s mother should stand near the
entrance to the reception site to informally greet guests as they
arrive. The groom’s parents should also stand nearby so they can be introduced to those they haven’t met. When having a
receiving line, it should be formed as quickly as possible
after the wedding party arrives at the reception site.
Technically, the receiving line should be formed in an anteroom,
which is an outer room often used as a waiting room; it leads
to the room where the reception is to be held. However, the size
of the reception site, the number of guests, and the delay
in setting up the receiving line are some of the points that
must be considered when couples are trying to determine
whether this arrangement will work. A practical suggestion is
to move the line into the reception room itself.
Champagne and
punch can be served to those waiting to enter the line
or to those leaving the line. If the reception site is large
enough, a few tables and chairs can be arranged in the gathering
room, which is especially helpful if some guests are older.
Provisions must also be made to take care of guests’ coats, as well as umbrellas and
other foul-weather if applicable.
The receiving
line regulated by etiquette, is formed in a
particular pattern. Except for the few minor
exceptions that
are noted, the following is the proper sequence of
people in a receiving line:
• Bride’s
mother (or, in her absence, whoever is hosting and paying for
the reception)
• Groom’s
father (optional)
• Groom’s
mother
• Bride’s
father (optional)
• Bride
• Groom
• Maid or
matron of honor
• Best man
(optional)
• Bridesmaid(s)
(optional)
If the fathers,
best man, and bridesmaid(s) don’t join the receiving line,
they should greet guests, mingle with them, and help them
with tasks like checking their coats, informing guests of
restroom locations, and serving drinks. Groomsmen and ushers
should also be assisting guests. Remember: The fewer people in the receiving line, the
less time it will take.
When planning a
receiving line, having an estimate of how long all guests
will take to move through the line is quite helpful. The
general rule is to allow about 20 seconds for each guest. For
example, if 120 guests are attending the reception, you
can estimate that all 120 guests will take approximately
40 minutes to move through the receiving line. An announcer
can stand at the head of the line, which is especially
helpful if the number of attending guests is great. The announcer
may be someone close to the family, such as a groomsman,
a family member, or a close friend. The announcer asks
the guest’s name, if he doesn’t recognize the person, and
passes the name to the first person in line as a way of
introducing the guest. The first person in the line should then
pass the guest’s name to the next person in line. This process
continues until the last person in the line has been told the
guest’s name. To keep the
line moving at a steady pace, those standing in the receiving
line should limit conversation and, instead, exchange
general pleasantries, like thanking guests for attending.
Close friends and relatives usually kiss the bride and everyone
shakes the groom’s hand. If women in the receiving line
are wearing gloves, they should remove them before entering
the line. Incidentally, note that according to traditional
wedding etiquette, guests should congratulate the
groom and,
instead of congratulating the bride, they should wish her
happiness.
Divorced parents in the receiving line. Traditionally,
the easiest way to
avoid many problems that arise if divorced parents are on
the receiving line together is to eliminate the father and
stepfather from the line because both are optional participants anyway. However, if the
father and stepfather will be included in the receiving
line, they shouldn’t stand next to each other. Besides being
awkward, positioning the father and stepfather so that they’re
standing next to each other would confuse some, if not
many, guests. In most cases,
the bride’s mother and stepfather host the reception. In
such cases, her mother and stepfather stand in the receiving
line. On the other hand, her father is considered an honored
guest. If the bride’s father and stepmother host the reception,
the arrangement is simply reversed: Her father and stepmother
stand in the receiving line, while her mother is an honored
guest. If the groom’s parents are divorced, his mother is
usually in the receiving line, but neither his father nor stepfather joins her.
The Facts about Releasing the rows
In
some areas of the United States, the bride and
groom conduct a reverse receiving line, where they greet
guests during the recessional at the ceremony. This practice,
known as releasing the rows, is
becoming more common today.
The newlyweds stop at each row and chat for a moment. When
the couple moves on to the next row, guests are then free
to exit their row.
The difference
Now that you know the proper etiquette for both a receiving line and releasing the row, it will be easier to make a decision Remember to consult with your wedding planner before making a decision as there are many logistical and outside factors to take into consideration.
Johanna Eve
Boston Wedding Consultants
Information gathered from ABC
